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 Funny things you can put as your facebook status :)

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graciamm

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PostSubject: Funny things you can put as your facebook status :)   Tue Aug 28, 2012 12:04 pm

Funny things you can put as your facebook status Smile

Here are just some funny things I ran into one day, enjoyyy!



I like to name my ipod ‘Titanic’ so when it says ‘Syncing Titanic’ i click cancel and it makes me feel like a hero.




I tried to log on to Facebook. It said, “Cookies are required to operate.” I thought to myself, “Me too, Facebook. Me too.”



decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
sometimes, not remembering mey be the better.
X says my computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
X is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube… This could take a while.
X is the girl next door…if you live next door to a whore house.
What is fat, ginger and pregnant? Nothing..
slept like a baby last night…. Waking up every 3 hours crying for food.
wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime.
X is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
People say that love is in every corner……gosh! maybe i’m moving in circles..
Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
WARNING: Objects in mirror are fatter than they appear.
║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: $7.95
Dear Santa, let me explain…
I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover.
My wife said I’m too immature and if I don’t grow up it’s going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erect.
If guys had periods, they’d brag about the size of their tampons.
Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married.
Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
Statistically 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions.
if only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP
scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
Boys are like baby diapers when they get to be filled with shit they are thrown to be replaced.
i’ve yet to meet a woman who got pregnant from swallowing.
Cut here —————–✄———————-
Me and my wife are inseparable. Sometimes, it takes three or four people to pull us apart.
I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
People who write diet books live off the fat of the land.
Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
Doctors waiting room needs some music. And better lighting. And more women. And a pole in the middle of the room. And a buffet.
Best Friends Listen to what you dont say.
Just wanted to let you know that you are my BFBFF… Best Facebook Friend Forever..
So many stupid people, and so few asteroids.
X thinks that Facebook is the compost heap for my brain.
Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don’t know when.
You miss 100 percent of the shots u never take.
Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret.
I use to be great at wordplay. Once a pun a time.
Sometimes? Late at night? I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
I guess if you spoke your mind, you’d be speechless, huh?
X thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!
Alcohol does NOT make you fat…it makes you lean…against tables,chairs,walls, floors and ….Ugly people!!!
what has two ears and cant hear? —————–.> GRANDPA
I’m not a racer….But i can fly.
press the star below and watch it glow
▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ click star then up arrow to left to reveal status.
I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.
Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.
X is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of “liking” my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I’m awesome..
Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.
I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.
X just received a coupon in the mail: Buy one sock, get one FREE! While socks last.
X believes that if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free.
¡ǝɯıʇ ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooqǝɔɐɟ ǝsn puɐ puɐʇspuɐɥ ɐ op ʎןןɐuıɟ uɐɔ
Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
oh I’m sorry! i didn’t realise you were giving me a dirty look…i just thought you were ugly like that all the time!!
wants to merge MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT.
X says don’t look at me in that tone of voice.
Is anyone going to put anything funny on here?????
If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.
eat eat and eat….but don’t eat my brain.
I married my wife for her looks. But not the ones she’s been giving me lately!
a guy knocked on my door today asking for a donation for the local primary school’s pool. I went away and came back with a cup of water….. Is that wrong?
ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
All men are born free and equal. If they go and get married, that’s their own fault.
too cool for school.
trying to think of clever things to say after inhaling from a helium balloon.
the kid next door’s imaginary friend.
–^v–^v–^v–^v-_____^v–^v–^v– For a second there, I was bored to death.
definitely not watching what not to wear.
forcing my dog to learn how to google.
kissing a girl and may or may not be liking it.
Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with “according to the prophecy”
X is Loading ████████████ 99%
Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
U have 10 fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to life. How many fish do you have? Stop counting smart one. Fish cant Drown.
X went to the book store earlier to buy a ‘Where’s Wally’ book. When I got there, I couldn’t find the book anywhere. Well played Wally, well played.
Hi, my name is Damimeve. The ‘mime’ is silent.
I’ve always wondered if film directors wake up screaming “CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!” when they have nightmares.
In an interview, “I can multitask housework with facebook!”
never judges a book by its cover. She uses the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
a day late and a dollar short.
Insert coin to view my status message.
If somebody offers you a lifetime supply of candy and there is just one piece, don’t eat it: It’s probably poison.
We have so much in common. You want to travel,I want you to go .
happy that you finally broke up with that slut. Now I can tell you VIA facebook update that I boinked her.
seen pictures of you naked on the internet.
remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.
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winter_ann
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PostSubject: Re: Funny things you can put as your facebook status :)   Tue Aug 28, 2012 2:14 pm




Someone ask me How's your love life?


i said ito SELF SUPPORTING.
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graciamm

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PostSubject: Re: Funny things you can put as your facebook status :)   Wed Aug 29, 2012 4:37 pm

winter_ann wrote:



Someone ask me How's your love life?


i said ito SELF SUPPORTING.


ahhaha, what does it suppose to mean? Love your self? Do it by your self? ahhaha will much scratch better you can't hurt anyone ended...
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winter_ann
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PostSubject: Re: Funny things you can put as your facebook status :)   Thu Aug 30, 2012 11:44 am




graciamm its doing it by your self.hahaha its like doing it alone without partner.
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PostSubject: Re: Funny things you can put as your facebook status :)   Thu Aug 30, 2012 12:45 pm

winter_ann wrote:



graciamm its doing it by your self.hahaha its like doing it alone without partner.


Sometimes it is good, but most of the time it works better rather than with someone...lol no offense lol! guys.. What a Face
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jhomsxxx
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PostSubject: Re: Funny things you can put as your facebook status :)   Thu Aug 30, 2012 12:49 pm

nd nmn ako maka realte d2..

lol!
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winter_ann
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PostSubject: Re: Funny things you can put as your facebook status :)   Thu Aug 30, 2012 1:30 pm

DAHIL BADTRIP AQ PAKIBASA TOH...

"TO WAIT"
yan yung huni ng ibon.. TO WAIT..TO WAIT..TO WAIT...Imported yung ibon eh slang..
"THE EGG"
Ito yung mga bagay na mas nakakalamang ka sa iba, kaya THE EGG mo sila.. "LOVING A NAME"
yan naman yun kasunod sa labinglima...LOVING A NAME..
"SHE FEEL YOU"
yan yung nilalagyan ng toothpaste
"THE PLACE"
yan yung pag sinuntok ka di ka masyadong tinamaan, THE PLACE lang yun.. ehehehe..


.di nmn masamang magpa corny minsan lol!
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graciamm

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PostSubject: Re: Funny things you can put as your facebook status :)   Thu Aug 30, 2012 3:08 pm

jhomsxxx wrote:
nd nmn ako maka realte d2..

lol!


hayaan mo nalang sir baka pag naka relate ka iba pa mangyari lol... lol!
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graciamm

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PostSubject: Re: Funny things you can put as your facebook status :)   Thu Aug 30, 2012 3:09 pm

winter_ann wrote:
DAHIL BADTRIP AQ PAKIBASA TOH...

"TO WAIT"
yan yung huni ng ibon.. TO WAIT..TO WAIT..TO WAIT...Imported yung ibon eh slang..
"THE EGG"
Ito yung mga bagay na mas nakakalamang ka sa iba, kaya THE EGG mo sila.. "LOVING A NAME"
yan naman yun kasunod sa labinglima...LOVING A NAME..
"SHE FEEL YOU"
yan yung nilalagyan ng toothpaste
"THE PLACE"
yan yung pag sinuntok ka di ka masyadong tinamaan, THE PLACE lang yun.. ehehehe..


.di nmn masamang magpa corny minsan lol!


lol! ahahahah lakas ng bad trip mo Winter_ann dapatpala sayo laging badtrip....ahahah lakas tawa ko dito ah...nice post.... lol! bounce
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winter_ann
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PostSubject: Re: Funny things you can put as your facebook status :)   Fri Aug 31, 2012 10:49 am



Sa Tindahan* ..
Bata: Tao po! May load po kayo?

Tindera: Meron iho.

Bata: Pa-forward daw ng qoutes si mama. Yung pang broken hearted.


lol! lol!
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litemeon
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PostSubject: sane hindi maka relate   Sat Sep 01, 2012 8:18 am

same tayo jjhoms hinid makarelate
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winter_ann
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PostSubject: Re: Funny things you can put as your facebook status :)   Sat Sep 01, 2012 4:19 pm



sabi nila MMDA ka daw?


M-ahal

M-o

D-aw

A-ko?


this is not funny,but corny hehehe albino albino


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PostSubject: Re: Funny things you can put as your facebook status :)   Sat Sep 01, 2012 4:21 pm





litemeon at jhoms kau pa ba hindi mkakarelate?


hahahaha
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PostSubject: Re: Funny things you can put as your facebook status :)   Sun Sep 02, 2012 1:02 pm

Some people say that being obese is a sickness or a disease.
I'm going to tell my boss that I can't report to work today coz I'm fat ^_^
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PostSubject: para sayo   Mon Sep 03, 2012 2:57 am

winter an yes hehe yaa mo search ko para maintindihan ko
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mahaldita0427

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PostSubject: Re: Funny things you can put as your facebook status :)   Tue Sep 04, 2012 9:05 am

Ang mukha parang BARBIE DOLL. Pero ang ugali CHAKA DOLL. Very Happy
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PostSubject: barbidoll   Tue Sep 04, 2012 10:56 am

ayos chakadoll hehe
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PostSubject: Re: Funny things you can put as your facebook status :)   Tue Sep 04, 2012 5:24 pm

minsan masarap magbasa ng mga status na kung ano-ano lang sa FB,noh?
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PostSubject: corak   Wed Sep 05, 2012 1:48 am

coreck ka ajan masarapmagbasa ng statuslalao na pag naaliw
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PostSubject: Re: Funny things you can put as your facebook status :)   Wed Sep 19, 2012 11:59 am

wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime.

natawa aq dito.ipinost ko nga sa FB ko.inaabangan ko magreact yung pinsan ko.sarap makipagdebate.
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PostSubject: Re: Funny things you can put as your facebook status :)   Thu Sep 20, 2012 2:09 am

dami ba nag react
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PostSubject: Re: Funny things you can put as your facebook status :)   Thu Sep 20, 2012 9:17 am

isa lang yung nagreact litemeon.
Kya lang yung nagreact sya mismo yung inaabangan ko na magreact kaya to the max kaming nagasaran ng pinsan ko.sakit ng tyan ko katatawa kahapon.
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PostSubject: Re: Funny things you can put as your facebook status :)   Thu Sep 20, 2012 10:06 am

close na close kayo ng cousin mo ah isa lang reac ano react share naman
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PostSubject: Re: Funny things you can put as your facebook status :)   Thu Sep 20, 2012 10:11 am

sabi nya
"hmm feeling!ang aga aga pa para managinip ka!"
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PostSubject: Re: Funny things you can put as your facebook status :)   Thu Sep 20, 2012 10:39 am

haha nanaginip daw ba may
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